this is literally...half a year late but when i saw this prompt i couldnt get it out of my mind for a whole month!! i truly did mean to write something back then... unfortunately finals followed then a slew of fic exchanges then...school but here i am now, circling back, and finally writing again TT__TT
chenle (16:02): hey ur at the dorms right chenle (16:03): i'm coming over later tonight chenle (17:51): u r free right? chenle (18:34): jisung??? chenle (19:46): nvm
Chenle chews sullenly on the ramen, the noodles bland and soggy in his mouth. There's nothing Chenle hates more than soggy noodles. He meets Kun's eyes across the table. The guilt rises as the tea slips down his throat. Kun's food is never bad, Chenle's just being dramatic.
Kun doesn't ask him, doesn't pluck the question hanging in the air, twist it into something so eloquent and succinct that Chenle has no choice but to face the truth. Instead, Kun graciously endures Chenle's teasing that comes out a bit too acerbic and allows Chenle to do the dishes. Chenle never does the dishes when he comes over. Not unless Kun coerces him to with the promise of another meal.
"When I get a dog, it'll be cuter than Bella," Chenle mutters as he scratches the underside of Bella's chin.
"Uh-huh," Kun says.
"My dog will be better behaved too and won't pee during lives," Chenle adds. Bella sits up, tongue drooping from the side of her mouth. She stares at Chenle, bottomless black eyes unblinking. Chenle thinks she might be trying to tell him something.
Bella sneezes.
A droplet of spit lands in Chenle's eye. He winces.
"I'm sure your dog won't," Kun hums in agreement. He puts the last bowl away, pointedly ignoring the way Chenle chews on the skin around his fingers as he idly scrolls through Kun's-- Ten's-- Netflix. Seen that, boring, boring, click, not his thing, click click click. Chenle is on edge the entire night, waiting for his phone to light up. He's disappointed by the notification each time.
jisung (1:23): sorry!!! was out with sungchan jisung (1:24): next time??
Jealousy is an ugly thing. Chenle's no stranger to having the green monster sit in the pit of its stomach and reach up with its dripping claws to ensnare his heart. What he is unused to is the way envy has been sitting inside him for the past week, coming up his throat each time he sees Sungchan or Jisung. He's not sure if it's worse when he only sees one of them or the both of them together, heads leaned in towards one another in an achingly familiar way.
That used to be my spot, Chenle thinks viciously as he reaches for his toes.
The thing is, Chenle knows that he has no claim to the way Jisung's eyes crinkle behind the phone or the small huffs of laughter that fill the practice room. Still, Chenle can't help the part of him that wants to scream that he's Jisung's best friend. It's Chenji's This and That not Sungji's Whatever The Fuck.
"You're not used to not getting what you want," Kun had told him, "You've always been able to get what you want. In the end."
And it's true. Chenle had practiced relentlessly as a child but he'd also been lucky and talented enough to easily land into stardom. He's always been able to charm the aunties at his parents' dinner parties and the grandmas and grandpas at the park. SM had been no exception; the older trainees doting on him.
Chenle's not like Jisung, he's not kind and patient and he doesn't put other people's best interests at heart. He doesn't carefully consider other people's feelings-- most of the time, he does care sometimes. Chenle is selfish and a bit too brazen, a whole handful. A gremlin, Renjun sometimes calls him and Chenle knows that it's a joke but truthfully, sometimes he doesn't even know what others see in him.
"Hey," a voice says, nudging his thigh. Jisung lips stretch into a familiar grin when Chenle finally decides to look up.
Chenle lets out a loud sigh, falling backwards so he's staring into practice room lights. Maybe his retinas will shrivel up and he won't have to go through this round of promotions.
"You shouldn't do that. It's bad for you," Jisung says, hand coming up to cover Chenle's eyes, just enough so his eyes aren't blinded.
"It's fine," Chenle says, batting Jisung's hand out of the way and using his own hand to cover his eyes instead. He feels every bit as dramatic as he looks.
"You're annoyed," Jisung states.
"Am not."
"Hm," Jisung says but doesn't argue because practice is starting again. "We're still down to hang out at your place tonight, right?"
"Yeah, of course," Chenle scoffs. He accepts Jisung's extended hand. It's a familiar weight in Chenle's own palm. He wonders what exactly it is, that he wants, as he pulls himself up face-to-face with Jisung's smile.
no subject
i'm also like 2 words over. lol
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chenle (16:02): hey ur at the dorms right
chenle (16:03): i'm coming over later tonight
chenle (17:51): u r free right?
chenle (18:34): jisung???
chenle (19:46): nvm
Chenle chews sullenly on the ramen, the noodles bland and soggy in his mouth. There's nothing Chenle hates more than soggy noodles. He meets Kun's eyes across the table. The guilt rises as the tea slips down his throat. Kun's food is never bad, Chenle's just being dramatic.
Kun doesn't ask him, doesn't pluck the question hanging in the air, twist it into something so eloquent and succinct that Chenle has no choice but to face the truth. Instead, Kun graciously endures Chenle's teasing that comes out a bit too acerbic and allows Chenle to do the dishes. Chenle never does the dishes when he comes over. Not unless Kun coerces him to with the promise of another meal.
"When I get a dog, it'll be cuter than Bella," Chenle mutters as he scratches the underside of Bella's chin.
"Uh-huh," Kun says.
"My dog will be better behaved too and won't pee during lives," Chenle adds. Bella sits up, tongue drooping from the side of her mouth. She stares at Chenle, bottomless black eyes unblinking. Chenle thinks she might be trying to tell him something.
Bella sneezes.
A droplet of spit lands in Chenle's eye. He winces.
"I'm sure your dog won't," Kun hums in agreement. He puts the last bowl away, pointedly ignoring the way Chenle chews on the skin around his fingers as he idly scrolls through Kun's-- Ten's-- Netflix. Seen that, boring, boring, click, not his thing, click click click. Chenle is on edge the entire night, waiting for his phone to light up. He's disappointed by the notification each time.
jisung (1:23): sorry!!! was out with sungchan
jisung (1:24): next time??
Jealousy is an ugly thing. Chenle's no stranger to having the green monster sit in the pit of its stomach and reach up with its dripping claws to ensnare his heart. What he is unused to is the way envy has been sitting inside him for the past week, coming up his throat each time he sees Sungchan or Jisung. He's not sure if it's worse when he only sees one of them or the both of them together, heads leaned in towards one another in an achingly familiar way.
That used to be my spot, Chenle thinks viciously as he reaches for his toes.
The thing is, Chenle knows that he has no claim to the way Jisung's eyes crinkle behind the phone or the small huffs of laughter that fill the practice room. Still, Chenle can't help the part of him that wants to scream that he's Jisung's best friend. It's Chenji's This and That not Sungji's Whatever The Fuck.
"You're not used to not getting what you want," Kun had told him, "You've always been able to get what you want. In the end."
And it's true. Chenle had practiced relentlessly as a child but he'd also been lucky and talented enough to easily land into stardom. He's always been able to charm the aunties at his parents' dinner parties and the grandmas and grandpas at the park. SM had been no exception; the older trainees doting on him.
Chenle's not like Jisung, he's not kind and patient and he doesn't put other people's best interests at heart. He doesn't carefully consider other people's feelings-- most of the time, he does care sometimes. Chenle is selfish and a bit too brazen, a whole handful. A gremlin, Renjun sometimes calls him and Chenle knows that it's a joke but truthfully, sometimes he doesn't even know what others see in him.
"Hey," a voice says, nudging his thigh. Jisung lips stretch into a familiar grin when Chenle finally decides to look up.
Chenle lets out a loud sigh, falling backwards so he's staring into practice room lights. Maybe his retinas will shrivel up and he won't have to go through this round of promotions.
"You shouldn't do that. It's bad for you," Jisung says, hand coming up to cover Chenle's eyes, just enough so his eyes aren't blinded.
"It's fine," Chenle says, batting Jisung's hand out of the way and using his own hand to cover his eyes instead. He feels every bit as dramatic as he looks.
"You're annoyed," Jisung states.
"Am not."
"Hm," Jisung says but doesn't argue because practice is starting again. "We're still down to hang out at your place tonight, right?"
"Yeah, of course," Chenle scoffs. He accepts Jisung's extended hand. It's a familiar weight in Chenle's own palm. He wonders what exactly it is, that he wants, as he pulls himself up face-to-face with Jisung's smile.